Welcome back to the Army. Bumps on the road are frequent and should always be expected when you're a grunt, that's one thing I've made sure to learn. It's not like I had forgotten this in the few months of my break in service, but I guess this is just a reminder. As of this morning, I was not going to be leaving to Germany tomorrow. This may be different now. Drive on.
These past few days have also been a reminder of other reasons why I am happy to have come back into the military, for example: the people I serve with. While the other 21 guys I'm currently stuck with come from all walks of life, the good ones outweigh the shit bags. That, by the way, is a compiment to the ones I like and as you know, I go easy on the compliments. Last night before I went to bed I had a very strong connection/conversation with one of the guys staying in my room. Secor is a very amicable and approachable guy from Florida. He's 24, married, and alhtough he's going through a difficult divorce he's still a father to 2 boys. One of the boys is his, the other he's not sure of but doesn't want to find out because he says he loves him just as much. To make matters worse, the kid is autistic. I've only known the guy for about a week, but he's genuinely one of the most sincere and friendliest persons I have met in a very long time. While he told me of all his pains, issues, and his toxic marriage back home it was clear to me that under all of the emotions and personality that he wears on his sleeves there is an immense amount of heartbreak and disappointment. It was especially evident when the dude shed a few tears at the thought of this autistic child not being his son.
At this point I felt like a real dick because of all the things I sometimes complain about and refer to as problems. I was lost and had to think of something to tell this guy. You know, it's funny how things work out sometimes; a few months ago Eugene introduced me to the Law of Attraction, and at the time I found it to be somewhat elementary and lacking in complexity, but after some self-identification and time alone with myself I have reconsidered. Secor explained that all of his life, just about every single one of his 'friendships' and relationships have been complete busts. He felt as though he brought it upon himself. Instinctively, I began to explain to him this law and how it declares that any energy in our lives, be it positive or negative, is energy we attract to ourselves. I told him that perhaps what he considered to be bad fortune could actually be a product of the things and the people he surrounds himself with and that it might be a good idea to reevaluate the people he wants to have in his life. Although things may seem like they're constantly taking a wrong turn, ultimately we control where it is that our lives are going, and that the only way to steer it in the right direction is to know what it is what we want and to make sure we achieve these things for ourselves, otherwise no one will care to do it for us. After hearing this, his emotions quickly yielded to thought and reasoning and he said he had never really though of his life in such a way.
Although it felt like I was counseling this guy, the advice definitely resonated both ways. This is something that I have been striving to achieve in my life lately. You may recall my post about a week ago about the things I would like to achieve in the not-so-distant future. I'm doing this to actively and continuously work on the development of myself, even though around here it feels like there is small support from my surroundings. I recognize that there are some things about myself I could never change, even if I wanted to. Some include my comedic and eccentric ways, my extroverted confidence, and also my outward and upfront personality. 3 days ago, one of the females that is in our building told me there is nothing subtle about me. Be it as it may. Nevertheless, I am and have been actively trying to fix/adjust many things about myself for the past 2 years that I know will only behoove me as an individual. I can honestly say that although at times I feel like I have a long way to go, it feels really good when you can help someone through a difficult time in their lives, boost them up, and make them feel better...if only for a little while.
Update: I leave tomorrow finally.